User Profile

If you've ever read Shakespeare's The Tragedy of Julius Caesar, you probably realised just how incredibly flaming the whole thing was. I did. And so I rewrote it, and so I put it here.

Fair warning: we are much with the gay and the swearing here.

Cast of Characters:
Marullus: Gangster from whatever Rome's equivalent of Compton is. Straight.
Flavius: Gangster from whatever Rome's equivalent of the Bronx is. Gay.
Commoners: Does it matter? Gay. All of them.
Julius Caesar: Evil homophobic dictator of Rome. In gay-denial.
Calpurnia: Mrs. Caesar. Skank ho with a bad attitude. Calpurnia from the Block, as some commoners might say.
Marc Antony: Resident manly man who lusts after Caesar in private. And in public.
Marcus Brutus: Conspirator stuck between Caesar and Cassius. Gay.
Caius Cassius: Conspirator going after Caesar because he's a homophobe. Loves Brutus. So gay.
Octavius Caesar: Antony's lapdog. Gay.
Casca: The cherub-like, dumb, wise-cracking friend to all conspirators. Gay. Likes to watch Brutus and Cassius boink, at that.
Portia: Wife of Brutus, to maintain the idea that he does not, in fact, love the cock.
Cicero: Good with his mouth. Gay.
Lepidus: Octavius' lapdog. Gay.
Decius: Wants to love Caesar, really does. Gay.

I claim no ownership over this story or anything else good ol' Billy has done. Also, I know nothing of the history of the actual Julius Caesar and Marc Antony, so spare me the historical commentary, thanks.

Friends (0)

Friend of (1):